Compassion unfolding.......
In a book I have recently been reading there is a few sentences that hit me in a way that followed me for days. They niggled the edge of my conscious thoughts. I kept returning to them.
Ordinarily words may strike me as truth or go largely unremembered This was more like something skittering at the edge of my mental vision, not quite in focus. It was becoming part of an awakening to something I've known , but had no words.
Over the years self judgement and impatience have followed me like a flock of harpies. The battle to control, accept eradicate this flock has been exhausting. For whatever reason these few sentences lightened my burden.
"and of course disgust for ourselves implies disgust for other people, for who's perfect? Self judgement implies a high standard for everyone, not just oneself. Sometimes self judgmentality is covert, part of a disingenuous ploy of self modesty."
So I had to ask myself is this true for me , and how does it apply to me? The answer, a resounding yes! But strangely instead of self recriminations full of more judgement and contempt, a sense of compassion presented.
Was my disgust for myself carrying over to others? How could I always let everyone else "off the hook" and hang myself from the rafters??? Was I really being disingenuous?
Had the defensive habits I learned early, not to celebrate myself morphed into this?
I sat with this . Images of myself feeling this way, noticing how what is inside of me, shows up in my life. Life becomes my mirror.
Early on in my Phoenix Rising training my mentor told me,"what you haven't dealt with in your life will show up on your mat, in your clients over and over until you deal with it". This frightened me.
I began to watch,(as I am a show me kind of girl). Indeed things I hadn't dealt with didn't just show up on my mat in sessions,they were everywhere! They showed up in the grocery store and at work, in the car! How could I have missed this giant mirror every way I looked? As one who has always avoided mirrors physically, I began to notice I was avoiding them metaphorically as well.
Slowly the grocery store and traffic became my mirror. I began to notice .
if how I was treating myself on any given day was reflected back. I found it was.
I thought about my clients, in session I create a safe place for them to be who they are, notice what they feel safe to notice. How could I hold that kind of space for others, and not for myself?
Lately I have been participating in study, as a provider, to measure the efficacy of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. This has enabled me to watch clients over a 10 week period, receive sessions weekly. Over the weekly sessions I began to notice one client in particular begin to have compassion for herself .This compassion has moved into her life.
When we view our bodies as wise and wonderful teachers, we begin to notice how when pain and judgement is present in our bodies, so too is it in our lives. When compassion and acceptance is present , this too moves in to our daily lives.
Ordinarily words may strike me as truth or go largely unremembered This was more like something skittering at the edge of my mental vision, not quite in focus. It was becoming part of an awakening to something I've known , but had no words.
Over the years self judgement and impatience have followed me like a flock of harpies. The battle to control, accept eradicate this flock has been exhausting. For whatever reason these few sentences lightened my burden.
"and of course disgust for ourselves implies disgust for other people, for who's perfect? Self judgement implies a high standard for everyone, not just oneself. Sometimes self judgmentality is covert, part of a disingenuous ploy of self modesty."
So I had to ask myself is this true for me , and how does it apply to me? The answer, a resounding yes! But strangely instead of self recriminations full of more judgement and contempt, a sense of compassion presented.
Was my disgust for myself carrying over to others? How could I always let everyone else "off the hook" and hang myself from the rafters??? Was I really being disingenuous?
Had the defensive habits I learned early, not to celebrate myself morphed into this?
I sat with this . Images of myself feeling this way, noticing how what is inside of me, shows up in my life. Life becomes my mirror.
Early on in my Phoenix Rising training my mentor told me,"what you haven't dealt with in your life will show up on your mat, in your clients over and over until you deal with it". This frightened me.
I began to watch,(as I am a show me kind of girl). Indeed things I hadn't dealt with didn't just show up on my mat in sessions,they were everywhere! They showed up in the grocery store and at work, in the car! How could I have missed this giant mirror every way I looked? As one who has always avoided mirrors physically, I began to notice I was avoiding them metaphorically as well.
Slowly the grocery store and traffic became my mirror. I began to notice .
if how I was treating myself on any given day was reflected back. I found it was.
I thought about my clients, in session I create a safe place for them to be who they are, notice what they feel safe to notice. How could I hold that kind of space for others, and not for myself?
Lately I have been participating in study, as a provider, to measure the efficacy of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy. This has enabled me to watch clients over a 10 week period, receive sessions weekly. Over the weekly sessions I began to notice one client in particular begin to have compassion for herself .This compassion has moved into her life.
When we view our bodies as wise and wonderful teachers, we begin to notice how when pain and judgement is present in our bodies, so too is it in our lives. When compassion and acceptance is present , this too moves in to our daily lives.
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